This is Ethan's story, and we are grateful to be a part of it.

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As a young child Ethan was a whirlwind of energy, always keeping us on our toes watching out for his next adventure. He loved animals, nature, and anything with wheels. Until he met his true love, rugby league. His energy never wavered, and he remained an energetic teenager, committed to his health and fitness. His goal was to play for the North Queensland Toyota Cowboys. Ethan was on the way to reaching his goal, being selected to play for Queensland Schoolboys at 12 years old, then invited to join the Brisbane Bronco's Elite Player Development Squad. He trained with them for a year, then 3 days before his diagnosis, he had been asked back on the squad for a second year.

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On Christmas morning, 2020, Ethan was swimming and laughing in the surf with his younger brother Jett and dad Michael, I was on the beach taking photos. A few hours later, with breathing difficulties, Ethan was flown to Brisbane and diagnosed with T-Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Nine weeks later, we held Ethan tightly and with love as his life support was turned off. It was the 3rd March 2021, just 3 days before his 14th birthday.

 

The days that followed were very painful. We didn't know how to live this life without Ethan, he was a big personality in our family and part of our awesome foursome, and quite honestly, we were lost. We weren't alone though. We were surrounded by family, friends, and our local community, who dearly loved Ethan and us, but we still felt like we were travelling our own lonely road. The road that only parents and siblings can travel, the one that your family and friends can't come on, not because they don't want to but because it's not their journey.

 

I remember needing to know how losing Ethan was going to feel, would the empty hollow feeling in my chest remain? The answer to that I now know is yes. One year later I was sitting with a good friend talking about my role as a psychologist, and how I felt that grief was now the one thing that I deeply understood. I wanted to help other parents who were walking this road with me, to feel less alone. I wanted them to know that there was someone they could sit and cry with, to share an understanding glance with, to say their child's name out loud with, to sit in silence with, or to talk about their healing and their new relationship with their beautiful child. My hope is twofold, firstly that you find the courage to reach out when you need to and find someone in your local area to connect with, and secondly, that this technology enables Ethan and your amazing children to help you find your tribe, your people, and your light in the darkness. 

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Ethan showed us bravery and courage in the face of fear, he kept his feelings close to his chest, but our nights always ended with "I love you" before bed, and when we were lucky, a warm hug. He was a ferocious defender of his family and friends, and after his passing, I received messages about him standing up to bullies for other kids. We continue to love and miss Ethan every day, he is now our guiding light in whatever we do, as we remember his "never give up" attitude to life and all that it brings. xx