Help Grieving Parents Support Each Other – in Memory of Ethan Stevens

 

Six months after our teenage son Ethan passed away from T-Cell Leukaemia, I returned to work part-time as a psychologist. I knew then my focus would be on finding a way to help parents and carers who were also bearing the deep ache of child loss.

 

I remember, as we slowly picked up the pieces of our broken family, that it was unwavering love and support from our family, friends and Moranbah community that helped us keep putting one foot in front of the other. It was gratitude for this support that gave me an idea of how I could help.

 

Why does Lived Experience matter?

 

There is nothing quite like the feeling of relief when you feel immediately and completely understood by someone who has walked in your shoes. After losing Ethan, I joined some bereaved parents Facebook groups and found that many parents had not only lost a child, but also the support of their friends and family. This can feel like another great loss. It is understandable that some people who were once a source of comfort and love cannot fathom the depths of child loss, and for some, those feelings are too distressing or uncomfortable and they distance or remove themselves.

 

Something grieving parents did find comforting on those Facebook pages was the opportunity to share their honest feelings with other parents who were living through the same experience, where they felt immediately understood and unconditionally supported.

 

With this in mind, I set out to design an App that would help grieving parents and carers to easily find and connect with each other in their local area. My vision is that when local connections are made, parents will feel more supported and less alone, and build on these meaningful connections, leading to face-to-face contact such as going for coffee or starting a local fishing group. I want to help their heavy hearts feel less lonely and isolated as they navigate the bumpy road of child loss.

 

How will the Kids Connecting Parents® App help grieving parents?

 

Eighteen months ago, I started designing the Kids Connecting Parents® (KCP) App. It is a global, social, geolocation connection app that allows grieving parents and carers to easily search for and connect directly with each other in their local area. It can be used at home or away from home, and connections can be one-on-one or as a group. It is my hope that once connections are made, parents will spend time together and create their own strong support networks. The App is for any parent or carer who has raised a child as their own. An example is that a mother could search for another mother who was of similar age, who lived within a certain distance from her, and who’s child had passed at a similar age, or a father could search for other father’s and create a group where they do activities together.

 

I have spent the past year searching for funding via grants and philanthropy, and unfortunately have been unsuccessful in my applications. Let’s face it, $250, 000 is no small change. These funding rejections did make me question my goals, I am also a grieving parent, and child loss can be unrelenting and heavy to carry, but thankfully Ethan showed me how to be resilient in the face of fear. Not long after his diagnosis, as we were walking out the door to attend his first out-patient chemotherapy treatment, he saw tears in my eyes. He turned to me and said “Mum, don’t cry for me, let’s just do this”. Ethan passed away 7 weeks later. After he passed, I found a quote on his phone that he had downloaded during chemotherapy, it said “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a dam door”. This GoFundMe is that door, and I’m hoping you will help me build it, make it strong, and never let it close.

 

How will Donations be spent?

 

100% of donations will be utilised to cover the cost of building and running the KCP App for the first 12 months. This includes the build, testing and launch of the app, as well as marketing, and business operation costs such as legal and insurance.

 

With Much Thanks and Gratitude

 

Thank you for taking the time to read our story, we would be most grateful if you could please help spread the word by sharing this link with friends and family. We greatly appreciate any help or contribution towards building the KCP App and look forward to sharing updates on the App’s progress. To find out more about the KCP App and how it can help parents and carers who are living with child loss, please visit kidsconnectingparents.com, contact details are also listed there. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to finally have the courage to write this, and I’m thankful for this opportunity to help other grieving parents build their personal and community support networks and find some light in their darkest days.

 

If you have stories, suggestions or comments that you wish to share, please contact me directly or leave a message at https://www.kidsconnectingparents.com using the “Contact Us” page.

 

In loving memory of our warrior and football loving son, Ethan, we, the Stevens Family, are truly appreciative of your consideration to help make the KCP App a reality.